Saturday, December 10, 2011
All Out of Words
Brian Doerksen has a song on his album It's Time called "More". It talks about how he needs God more than anything - more than oxygen, food, the warmth of the sun, the passionate expression of song. It is very reminiscent of Psalm 63:
1 O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water.
2 I have seen you in your sanctuary
and gazed upon your power and glory.
3 Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
Your love is better than life. I need you more than anything life-sustaining, more than anything beautiful, more than anything that provides fulfillment in life. I need you and love you more than anything.
This is intense! But I think a very appropriate adoration of our amazing God. He sustains our every breathe, He provides the food and water we need to survive. And His love is better than life!
And then, in Brian's song, there's this moment at the end when he has gone through this wonderful list of things that God's love is better than, where he throws out this line, "I'm all out of words..." And they proceed to go into a sweet instrumental outro to finish the song.
That line defines my worshipers heart sometimes. You get to a point where you have tried to express in words the beauty and magnitude of God, trying to express through words how your heart responds to this amazing God, and you realize, "I'm all out of words". And you throw your hands up, and dance, or cry, or just play your instrument with all the passion you can, try to find a way to express the love, the gratitude, the awe that is bursting from the inside out.
Sometimes I have had people ask me why we have to do repetitive songs, just sing the same line over and over. Or what the point of a high energy instrumental is in worship. To me, this is why - because sometimes I'm all out of words. My heart needs to worship but my words just don't cut it anymore. And I think for me something happens between my own spirit and God's that is outside of the music, that is beyond trying to sing about God's greatness through well crafted words. My words fail, and my spirit cries out to Him in a way He can understand.