Sunday, April 29, 2012


I love baby movement!  I have been feeling my baby move for about 13 weeks and I have not gotten over it yet.  When the baby moves, it is a sign of life and a sign of growth.  As an expectant mother, it is always a positive thing to feel my baby move.  

But what about for the baby?  I know that every time he (or she) moves, it is not out of excitement and joy of being alive!  Sometimes he is cramped and uncomfortable, trying to find a better position.  Sometimes he is reacting to external stimuli.  If I drink something cold, he might be moving away from that odd sensation.  If there is a loud noise, he might be startled.  If there is a big change from dark to light, again the baby is reacting to something that is new or uncertain.  

Other times the baby is reacting to the sound of my voice talking or singing.  Or he is just awake and moving around for fun.  

But I take all movement as good - all movement is a sign that this baby is growing and alive!  

It has made me wonder...  When we cry out to God in hard circumstances, when we figuratively (or literally?) kick and scream over discomfort in our lives, when we react to new or uncomfortable things - does God get excited because these are signs of life?  Does He say - Yes!  She's growing, she's going through things that are going to develop her character and make her more into the woman I'm forming her to be! 

I know this is too simplistic - I know that God grieves with us when we grieve, that He is bringing His Kingdom, and He is in the process of making all things new, doing away with pain, suffering and death.  And I know He tells us to cast our cares on Him because He cares for us.  But I still wonder if from His perspective, when we struggle and wrestle with hard things, if to Him this is a sign of life and growth that excites Him for what He knows is coming.  

Monday, April 16, 2012

Anticipating Change

Today I am thankful for...

  • Feeling weightless, floating in a pool, when normally right now I'm feeling very weighed down
  • Buffet breakfasts
  • Finding sweet deals!
  • Quality time with my amazing best friend and husband
  • Gelato!
  • Taking the scenic route
  • The hope we feel of what's all to come in the next few months
  • Continued daily kicking sessions from my little baby
  • My amazing husband who walks painfully slow with me because of my cramping body, who trusts me and loves me, who can put Ikea furniture together like none other!
  • Days that have no schedule or agenda, just open possibility before you
  • Rest
  • Rearranging furniture
  • Love

Saturday, April 7, 2012

Jesus Last Hours

If I knew I was going to die within the next 24 hours, what would I do?  This sounds like a creepy icebreaker question at a party, but it is actually the question I started my day off with yesterday.  

I think if I did know I was going to die within the next day, I would be very sad and scared.  Not scared without hope, because I know I am in God's hands - but still scared of the unknown experience ahead.  I would cry and hug my husband and make sure he knows how deeply I love him.  I'm not sure if there is much more I would be capable of doing in a moment like that.  

Yesterday was Good Friday, the day we remember that Jesus died for us, that He willingly endured the torture of death on a cross so that he could extend God's grace and love to every one of us.  So the night before Jesus died, while He knew what was about to happen, what did Jesus do?

I spent some time yesterday reading John chapters 13 to 19.  This is what Jesus did in the hours before being arrested, put on trial, and crucified.  He was with his disciples, teaching them, comforting them, preparing them for what was ahead.  In these last hours, His words to His disciples included these - 

Serve each other, as I have served you
Love each other, as I have loved you
Trust in Me
Peace I leave with you
Do not be afraid
Remain in Me
I chose you
Listen to the Spirit I will send, learn from Him
There is sadness ahead, but there is even greater joy ahead!
In this world you will have trouble, but take heart - I have overcome the world.

And then He prayed for them (and for us!) - 
For them to know God and therefore have real life in God 
For them to be unified, as Jesus is unified with the Father
For protection, to remain faithful to the Truth in a world of evil and lies.
For maturity, for oneness, for God and His love to be seen in them

Jesus, knowing He was mere hours from death, poured love onto His disciples.  Taught them and strengthened them with words that they wouldn't even understand until later.  Jesus did not succumb to fear of what was ahead for himself, but turned to his disciples to comfort and prepare them for what was ahead for them.  

I am amazed by my Lord, my Saviour, of His selfless love, His willing sacrifice, His offer of grace to me and to everyone.  By His wounds we are healed.