Movement

I love baby movement!  I have been feeling my baby move for about 13 weeks and I have not gotten over it yet.  When the baby moves, it is a sign of life and a sign of growth.  As an expectant mother, it is always a positive thing to feel my baby move.  


But what about for the baby?  I know that every time he (or she) moves, it is not out of excitement and joy of being alive!  Sometimes he is cramped and uncomfortable, trying to find a better position.  Sometimes he is reacting to external stimuli.  If I drink something cold, he might be moving away from that odd sensation.  If there is a loud noise, he might be startled.  If there is a big change from dark to light, again the baby is reacting to something that is new or uncertain.  


Other times the baby is reacting to the sound of my voice talking or singing.  Or he is just awake and moving around for fun.  


But I take all movement as good - all movement is a sign that this baby is growing and alive!  


It has made me wonder...  When we cry out to God in hard circumstances, when we figuratively (or literally?) kick and scream over discomfort in our lives, when we react to new or uncomfortable things - does God get excited because these are signs of life?  Does He say - Yes!  She's growing, she's going through things that are going to develop her character and make her more into the woman I'm forming her to be! 


I know this is too simplistic - I know that God grieves with us when we grieve, that He is bringing His Kingdom, and He is in the process of making all things new, doing away with pain, suffering and death.  And I know He tells us to cast our cares on Him because He cares for us.  But I still wonder if from His perspective, when we struggle and wrestle with hard things, if to Him this is a sign of life and growth that excites Him for what He knows is coming.  

Anticipating Change

Today I am thankful for...

• Feeling weightless, floating in a pool, when normally right now I'm feeling very weighed down
• Buffet breakfasts
• Finding sweet deals!
• Quality time with my amazing best friend and husband
• Gelato!
• Taking the scenic route
• The hope we feel of what's all to come in the next few months
• Continued daily kicking sessions from my little baby
• My amazing husband who walks painfully slow with me because of my cramping body, who trusts me and loves me, who can put Ikea furniture together like none other!
• Days that have no schedule or agenda, just open possibility before you
• Rest
• Rearranging furniture
• Love

Jesus Last Hours

If I knew I was going to die within the next 24 hours, what would I do?  This sounds like a creepy icebreaker question at a party, but it is actually the question I started my day off with yesterday.  


I think if I did know I was going to die within the next day, I would be very sad and scared.  Not scared without hope, because I know I am in God's hands - but still scared of the unknown experience ahead.  I would cry and hug my husband and make sure he knows how deeply I love him.  I'm not sure if there is much more I would be capable of doing in a moment like that.  


Yesterday was Good Friday, the day we remember that Jesus died for us, that He willingly endured the torture of death on a cross so that he could extend God's grace and love to every one of us.  So the night before Jesus died, while He knew what was about to happen, what did Jesus do?


I spent some time yesterday reading John chapters 13 to 19.  This is what Jesus did in the hours before being arrested, put on trial, and crucified.  He was with his disciples, teaching them, comforting them, preparing them for what was ahead.  In these last hours, His words to His disciples included these - 


Serve each other, as I have served you
Love each other, as I have loved you
Trust in Me
Peace I leave with you
Do not be afraid
Remain in Me
I chose you
Listen to the Spirit I will send, learn from Him
There is sadness ahead, but there is even greater joy ahead!
In this world you will have trouble, but take heart - I have overcome the world.


And then He prayed for them (and for us!) - 
For them to know God and therefore have real life in God 
For them to be unified, as Jesus is unified with the Father
For protection, to remain faithful to the Truth in a world of evil and lies.
For maturity, for oneness, for God and His love to be seen in them


Jesus, knowing He was mere hours from death, poured love onto His disciples.  Taught them and strengthened them with words that they wouldn't even understand until later.  Jesus did not succumb to fear of what was ahead for himself, but turned to his disciples to comfort and prepare them for what was ahead for them.  


I am amazed by my Lord, my Saviour, of His selfless love, His willing sacrifice, His offer of grace to me and to everyone.  By His wounds we are healed.

Quiet Space

My life is often not only busy, but noisy.  Not necessarily always physical, outward noise, but inner noise.  Inner noise to me includes everything from my thoughts and worries each day, trying to multi-task, constantly being on the computer, facebook and watching tv or movies.  Noise.  Even if I'm in a quiet room, often my mind is full of noise.  


This noise drowns out my hearts movements, as well as the Spirit's voice in my life. This is one reason that lately I have been pursuing what I am calling Quiet Space.  


Now, many Christians try to have a "quiet time" which usually means trying to carve out a small or large piece of time each day to read the bible, reflect, and pray.  This is great, but this is not what I'm talking about exactly.  Since January I have only actually experienced this quiet space twice, and both times were prompted by God's Spirit, not my own desire and decision to make it happen.  It was not me saying that I was going to take a half hour to be quiet with God, but it was Him nudging me to drop what I was doing and come be with Him.  And both times were profoundly enriching and restoring to my soul.  


It is as if there is a first level of being in a physically quiet place, then a deeper level of quieting the heart and mind, and this quiet space is even deeper in that my soul itself is quiet.  I think this is why it is not a daily experience as it is very hard to get to this place.  But it makes me hungry for more of this vulnerability and quiet before my Creator and Saviour.  To be fully present in my entire being with Him, with no agenda or timeframe, but to just be with Him, open and listening.


For years I have been asking God for more of Himself.  I feel this is part of the answer to that prayer, and its not what I expected, but it is so good.

Early Spring

This morning I am thankful for...

• Waking up on time and feeling rested, especially in a period of life lately where I am always tired and cannot seem to get enough sleep
• The symphony of early morning birds outside our windows
• Being able to have the windows open in March!
• Baby kicks - which will probably continue to be on every thankful list until June!

Appreciation

Today at work I helped a customer via email find the right part number for a fridge part they had broken and got the shipment out today for her.  This is a very normal part of my day - talking with people, making sure it is the right part, and getting it out as quickly as possible.  But after everything was settled, she emailed back saying that this was the best service she had ever experienced for a matter like this.  She asked me to pass along the compliment to my supervisor.

That just made my day, I have to be honest.  I realized from how surprised I was from this customers appreciation that in general people do not express gratitude to each other.  More often than not, we take each other for granted or only speak up to someone when we are upset.

I try to offer great service no matter who I am dealing with, to treat each customer with respect, friendliness and prompt service.  But very seldom is this effort recognized by the customer (by my co-workers, yes, we encourage each other and value each others work). This made me wonder two things.

First, what is it in us that overlooks saying thanks?  Perhaps we are so busy and filled with mental noise that nothing else can reach us except what is urgent and demanding our attention in our own lives.  We are so pre-occupied that we fail to recognize that we interact with other humans beings with emotions.  Especially if someone is providing a service for us, we see them as doing their job and forget that they may be doing their very best and may be in need of encouragement.

Second, who do I overlook?  Who do I encounter throughout my day or week that I could be speaking words of life into, but instead I just pass by? There is a cashier that I often get in the grocery store that is always very pleasant and friendly.  One of the ladies at a company we work with is always very prompt and goes above and beyond to help our customers.  There are people in my church who are amazing behind the scenes volunteers who clean, stack chairs, make coffee, etc. etc. How often do I recognize these types of people and let them know their hard work is noticed and valued.  

I'm hoping in the next few days I get to make someone else's day the same way this person made my day.

Friday Morning

This morning I am thankful for...

• Good memories created with good friends
• The feeling you get on Friday because you know a weekend is coming
• Having to wear maternity clothes!
• Our unborn babe dancing around inside of me
• A warm house to live in, and being able to look outside at the beautiful falling snow
• Having an amazing workplace to go to each day, and not getting that dreaded "I don't want to go to work" feeling